Andy Dickson corners some cabbies, escapes unscathed and discovers they're human, like most of the rest of us.
Moving Target, Issue #5, Fall 1989
Think of it this way, London's streets are an artificially constructed (and appallingly managed) ecosystem, no-one actually eats anyone else but still there's a clear vehicular hierarchy, and at the top is the black cab. Their drivers, the cabbies, can justifiably claim to being the kings of the road / jungle. They know the streets best, their vehicles are purpose built, and there are more of them than any other single species. So where does that leave the cc? Well, as a kind of small but persistent rodent I suppose, a squirrel or rat maybe; difficult to pin down, unconventional, versatile, dangerous when cornered, but certainly smaller and softer than just about everyone else - basically 'prey'. From a cc's point of view then cabs are The Baddies and helpfully most of them are painted black for ease of identification. Another analogy might be that cabs are to cc's what Klingons are to Capt. James T. (Bold) Kirk and his crew. -Whenever one shows up you just know something nasty is going to happen. So when I went down to the taxi rank outside the piccolo bar in EC1's Gresham St. I was expecting nothing short of abuse, ridicule and derisive laughter, I was a scared squirrel.
This next bit is not easy for me to say because not only did none of them spit fire, have horns or 666 tattooed on their heads but yes, I admit it, they were all very, ...nice. O.k. not so nice I wanted to go on a camping holiday with any of them but they were perfectly reasonable people. 'Bollocks' you say? Well read on. Question 1 was; What do you think of cc's? "They've got a lot of guts' said one, (no hint of "..and I'd like to spill them"). "If they can earn a living good luck to them" said another. "It's got to be the best way of getting around" said a third.- Not only were these guys reasonable, they were articulate too.
Question 2. Would you like to see cc's banned? (he asked, expecting the answer -yes-) -No, not for the sake of it" said Allan, cabbie of some 10 years standing, " Although they do break just about every law, I don't think they think they can get arrested for what they do. It winds me up until I realise that it's the police not doing their job, but then they're undermanned and haven't got time to worry about traffic. You've only got to go to Oxford St. to see that every other vehicle is a private car". True enough. "I'd rather see buses banned" said Chris only slightly joking, "they don't give a damn about anyone, even cab drivers. Sometimes I think they (cc's) take the piss though. They don't believe in traffic lights and they don't believe in giving way. I could understand it more if they had the power to get themselves out of a situation but their legs can't move fast enough".
Opinions were mixed on my next question; Has the situation got any worse in the past five years? "Because there’s more cyclists and more cars I think the attitude of cyclists towards car drivers in general has hardened because of what they have to go through. I wouldn't like to have to go round Hyde Park Corner on a push bike because they (car drivers) don't care about other cars let alone bikes". Although one cabbie (rejoicing in the name Gordelia) felt that "There are a lot more cc's about now, but if anything things seem to have got better, at least they don't cause traffic jams or take up parking spaces".
Opinions on dr's was also mixed; "I don't think too much about them, occasionally they cut you up but then they're gone. They don't give me too much worry" said Chris. On the other hand all three others expressed reservations saying that there were too many on the road and one recounting how after breaking his wing mirror, deliberately weaving about in front of him and finally falling off, the dr then had the gall to report him to the police. So what about U -turns in Oxford St? Chris explained in matter of fact terms "The cab can turn in 25 foot. If it wasn't built for it, we wouldn't do it. If you were sitting in the back of my cab and wanted to go the other way you'd expect me to do a U wouldn't you?" Yup I suppose I would. According to the LTDA (Licensed Taxi Drivers Association not Licensed To Do Anything) there are 18000 cabs in London with 15000 on the road at any one time. Given those figures and being so clearly marked is it any wonder that we've all got X-rated Taxi driver stories to tell? With respect to cc's it seems the reverse is not true, cabbies have to put up with far more shit from other vehicles to worry particularly about cc's and the ones I spoke to, perhaps not surprisingly were keen to point out that they are professionals. "I try not to get provoked into doing anything silly. You have to be progressive not aggressive. Once you start being aggressive you get yourself into trouble" was how Allan put it, which seemed like pretty good advice for all concerned to me.
A fact often overlooked is that cabbies have to spend two or more years on a moped learning the knowledge and all the guys I spoke to were at pains to point out how much more aware of bikes of both kinds they were. Nevertheless under irresistible interview pressure Chris related the story of a cc in distress with mechanical problems who hailed a cab. As the two 'adversaries’ chatted on the journey back to town Chris felt now was the time to declare that he always kept an eye open for cyclists. In his own words "What do I do? The next thing I know I've cut up a push bike without meaning to, I looked in my mirror and didn't see him. - so accidents do happen.
Ok I admit it could all have been a big act and after all it was their tea break but I got the distinct impression that these guys were sympathetic to the humble cc's plight. As far as I'm concerned they are no longer The Enemy but just fellow victims suffering the consequences of a traffic system creaking inexorably into collapse, instead of the traditionally exchanged digital gesture maybe a smile of solidarity from cc's would be more in order in future.
CC's are still rooting around for lucrative scraps at the bottom of this particular 'food chain' but clearly others are suffering too.
A.D.
Thanks to Dave, Chris, Allan and (ahem) Gordelia.
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