Moving Target, 1991
by Sean Scoop Smiley
"I was heading home one night up the Essex Road after a few pints at the end of a hard day.
It was starting to get dark but I'd forgotten my lights - half way up the road a man stepped out between two cars and put his hand up, gesturing for me to stop. I thought it was some joker so I went to go around him. As I did so he moved to block me. I hit him and we both went down. It was then that he decided to tell me he was a Police Officer. Knocking him down had pissed him off no end so he arrested me and before I know it he's called for a van and I'm banged up for the night I was charged for reckless riding and riding while under the influence at Court the next morning. Two fifty pound fines and for what."
This is just one of the stories I have been told, of couriers suffering at the hands of your London Bobby. I've heard stories of cops {in plain clothes) yanking cyclists off their bikes for jumping lights (this is assault) but like most people who have had hassle from the Met. they've decided not to press charges against them as it seemed pointless to report Police to the Police and expect justice.
It seems Mr Plod is getting more and more frustrated at your ozone friendly courier, maybe its because they aren't able to set up MOT ambushes for our benefit or endorse our licences, either way there are rumblings of strife heading our way in the form of court appearances for misdemeanours such as jumping lights or going up a street the wrong way. For your average courier/cyclist this is a calculated risk as you assess the situation before you make your move. Most police usually just subject you to the old we are the ones who have to scrape you off the road" routine, others hit you with a fixed penalty fine but its the ones that go over the top we should look out for, at the end of the day it's only a traffic offence, not an excuse for brushing upon their SPG tactics.
So if you are pulled, be cool, don't antagonise them, you're only playing into their hands.
Another adversary to watch out for is PC Kinky of Throgmorton Ave. A courier cycling up said Ave the wrong way when confronted by Mr Plod, who called the offender over and after the usual lecture tells the courier to hold out his hand whereupon he proceeded to spank his extremity with a regulation Police leather glove. Oooh!! They can be so masterful at times! These and many other stories are to be found in the Naked City.
Sean Scoop Smiley
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