by Parte King
Mess Press, Winter 1991
Hey all you fellow messengers. It's high time we were given the respect we deserve instead of taking abuse.
The following page is a form letter we hope you take the time to send to the local Hallmark people. We realize this may not be too popular an idea with the public. Herb Caen is the only one who comes close to endorsing our profession. Like any profession, ours has its share of rookies, assholes and incapables (quit saying 'Fuck' on elevators).
But overall we're a hardworking tribe. In fact a good portion of us are downright good people. We hold doors, give directions, catch thieves, retrieve stolen property and hunt down owners of lost items - in my years a pair of thieves, passport, paycheck and portfolio. Sure we party hard and often. We don't always smell angelic and we take liberties at intersections.
We do work hard. If secretaries day can exist so can Messenger Day. Think of it:
- a day when pedestrians yield kindly instead of walking blindly
-receptionists offer beer instead of coffee - all taxis mysteriously refuse to function
- Mr Tuffy wins all battles
- amnesty is awarded on all outstanding tickets
- stolen bikes are returned
- no collisions occur
- deserved messengers get deserved tips
- proj is sold as cigarettes
- all tags are slippable rushes
Dear Folk,
There is an integral chain ring in the machine of our city that is simply being ignored. This hardworking group is environmentally conscious. They ride bicycles to work. Their job is both dangerous and necessary to the continued smooth function of our business district.
I say the time has come for you at Hallmark to invent the holiday to honor these people. We've all heard of secretaries day and I don't wish to take anything away from that occupation or its relevance. I do, however feel that 90% of the people in that profession couldn't handle the jobs these folk do.
I'm speaking of the Bike Messengers of San Francisco. That's right dudes and dudettes of Hallmark, the time is ripe for the inaugural Bike Messenger Day. Not only are they an attractive crew but a deserving crew as well.
Sincerely,
click here for a list of messenger zines
If you have comments or suggestions, email me at messvilleto@yahoo.com