by Mr Clean
Mercury Rising #7, August 1992
An interview with Chris MacKnight of Ford Graphics
Chris MacKnight: I heard a rumor that I was dead.
Mercury Rising: So, you're not really dead?
CM: No, no! I showed up at the Wall, and a friend of mine was all, "Oh, man, you're not dead! I played it off like I was a ghost, saying, "You can see me?". At first he was all, "Huh? what?", but luckily there weren't more people I could do that to,' cause it got out quickly that I was actually still living and breathing. Although for the first couple of days afterward, I kind of wished I were dead, I mean...
MR: It hurt a lot?
CM: Oh, man! My whole face, ’cause I like flew off my bike and went head first into a van, hit the ground, and rolled over, and a car ran over my arm. My arm is still numb right here, my forearm. The first couple of days I could not eat; my teeth were numb; my face was swollen up; my nose was broken. I was "Unnh!", whacked out on vicodins. I was taking them hourly, not every few hours. Luckily my Mom had a bunch, she gave me some. and so did my roommate.
It was hit and run. I got the police report back and there was a vague description of the woman who hit me. So anyone out there a (silver subaru samurai, late model, with a shoulder length brown haired lady driving), kill her. Flatten her tires. Put sugar in her gas tank. Do something.
MR: I heard that you'd hit a bump, and flown off the bike into a car.
CM: No , those bumps are in the second lane or something, I was all the way over to the right, by 333 Bush. Apparently she was pulling out of that garage by Triple Three, and just caught my back tire, and I went flying off. Pretty scary. I guess I'm pretty lucky I lived. I came to in the hospital, and thought, What the fuck happened?!
MR: "My packages!"
CM: I had one package, they're all, "Don't worry, it got there. Do you know who you are?" "Yeah, yeah." They asked me, who's the president? "Unfortunately, Bush, but not for much longer!"
Then the hospital called up my roommates, and they'd just gotten really stoned, and they're all, "What? an accident? Is he OK?" They came to pick me up and were all tripping out. I had a big bandage around my head. They said, "We need to get you a flute, man! You know, like the guy in the bicentennial picture with the rag around his head.
I went back to 333 Bush and talked to some people. One of the guys was a witness. He said I was like up and running around going, "I can't believe I got hit! can't believe I got hit!" I don't remember any of this. Then I put my hand to my head and saw the blood and started freaking out. A bunch of people had to hold me down while the paramedics got there. I was totally an asshole to the paramedics, and wouldn't let them do their job. So they had to pump me with something, and I was out. They put me in one of those big neck braces where they screw the things down on your head. I don't remember any of that. They cut the strap to my Zo bag to get me out of there. Eric fixed that, free, which is cool. They cut my Chili Peppers shirt off. They gave me my shirts back, I had this purple one that was covered with blood, it was all stiff the next day. You could literally stand it up in the corner, cause all the blood. I went by but it's such dark pavement I couldn't really tell where I'd bled.
MR: They wash it off. I've seen them after a couple of accidents. It's part of the procedure. So the streets don't look as mean as they really are.
CM: Who is it, Phil? The guy that owns Micro? He came by right after I was down, when they were holding me down, and he said he almost got sick to his stomach. He thought I was dead.
MR: Yeah, Nosmo said he rode by and saw some guy lying on the sidewalk twitching, and he rode on. Mishka said she was across the street and found some bike messenger in the bathroom throwing up cause of what she'd seen. I heard about it the next week, our guy Dennis said, "Hey, I heard some guy who rode for a graphics company really ate it."
CM: The BIG "ate it"... Kind of unfortunate that I can't sue anyone. I could have paid my debts off, probably. But... it'll come back to that woman. She must've felt bad. She must've known she hit me. Cause she hit me on her side, on the driver. She couldn't have missed it. After I got back to work they called me into the office. The big man upstairs said, Well, after reviewing our insurance situation, we feel it would be too costly to have you one the road." So, here I am working in Ammonia Heaven. Things happen, man. I started going out with the receptionist at the doctor's office, so things come out of it. I'm glad I'm alive, I'm still working, and I'm still demented!
Interview by Mr. Clean P.S. Nice Scar, Chris!
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